The Reason
by Michiyo Hikari
Summary: For you see, Lily Evans may be the reason behind the things I do and the wrongs I try to make right, but she can also be the reason I sometimes lose control. Take right now for instance. Bloody, teasing, witch. [ 1FLUFFSHOT Fic ]


**The Reason**

Are _you_ perfect? I know I'm not; clearly no one is.

People make mistakes, it's human nature. And then we regret it, do something to fix it, or simply learn from it when the situation is deemed hopeless to repair. Do you think forgiveness is necessary? I do. Especially when the person at fault is sincere about his apology; shouldn't that be enough? My girlfriend said it isn't. I asked her why, and all I got was the overused phrase of 'just because'. Mighty helpful, isn't it?

Okay, I do admit I upset her, but she needs to understand I feel horrible about it too. I wasn't thinking straight, I was being immature, foolish, stupid, and well... I was just having fun. Everyone needs that _once_ in a while, don't they? I mean come _off _it, I'm in my seventh year at Hogwarts, there's only so much (mischief) you can do in the castle before you leave. You do see my point, right? A Marauder will always be a Marauder, Head Boy or not.

I mean, yes, there's tons of things I wish I didn't do but I'm learning to deal with that. I rarely sneak out with the guys anymore; I'm usually in the Heads' Dorm working on my duties. I've been called 'whipped' even, by my very best friend, because I chose work over a party in Hogsmeade once. But people change, I told him, there's just that moment in your life when your priorities start to shift. He'd scoff and shrug then, muttering something about a ridiculous reason to change.

I wouldn't call it ridiculous.

True, it was undeniable that Sirius strongly believed my sole reason for 'growing up' is Lily, but I wouldn't completely agree. She was more of a motivation than anything, my drive to be better. The reason I wanted to change was because I wanted to be good enough _for_ her not _because _of her – if that makes sense. You could say I realized it one day when she told me to grow up, that if she were to date, it had to be with someone good enough.

I didn't feel good enough. So I _wanted_ to be just that – Good enough, and possibly something better. It wasn't so much as changing merely because I wanted her to date me. It was also because I wanted her to see that there _is_ a side of me she has yet to see, a different side that she may even approve of. It was already there, I just had to work on bringing it out.

Yeah, she was my drive – oh what the heck, call her my reason. Sirius would be glad to be proven right. Still, I stand for what I said earlier. The 'change', as people called it, was for her. And I suppose it was about time I grew up anyway, what with being Head Boy and Quidditch Captain at the same time. I had responsibilities; people to look out for and support. I don't regret it, no, it's done me well.

But Lily doesn't know that. I never told her about it even after we started dating. What was I supposed to say? _Hey Lily, I changed for you, y'know? _No way. I'd prefer she didn't know, some things are better left unsaid after all. Hm, maybe I should tell her though, she needs to know how serious I am about her, about _us_. I can't stand it when she ignores me.

"James."

I looked up, surprised. "L-Lily?" She actually came to meet me...

"Get this over with," She tells me, "I don't have much time."

I sighed. Of course, it was too much to hope for that she'd forgive me easily. "Lily," I smiled nervously as I took a step forward. She on the other hand, remained immobile as she glared at me. I almost chuckled; typical Lily. But reaching out to touch her, I felt a lump forming in my throat as she turned away. "I'm sorry. It was stupid, I know." I took another step, this time taking her hand in mine and giving her fingers a soft kiss. "Forgive me?"

"No."

I felt my heart sink. "Why not...?"

"Just because."

There it was again, that stupid phrase. It was mocking me. "Lily, that's not helping."

She rolled her eyes. "It's not supposed to, genius."

Patience, James, patience. "Look, I'm really sorry about what happened. I already told you, I won't bloody do it again." Who knew a plain old prank would cause me so much trouble? It was meant to create trouble, but not for the troublemakers themselves. Not until they get caught anyway. I just had the misfortune of getting caught red-handed by my girlfriend. Or at least who I hope would still be my girlfriend after this.

"Stop that."

"I'm sorry?" What was she going on about?

"Stop your bloody apologies!" She yelled. I winced at the tone of her voice, she was very, very, pissed. "You're always apologizing about everything, it makes me sick! Honestly James, if this happened last year you'd be going around the school bragging about it right now."

"That was last year, Lily. I changed."

"Then don't!" She screamed again. "Don't change anymore," Lily sighed, looking down at the ground. "Laugh like you used to, pull pranks, slack off, skip classes, sneak out, I don't care... just... be happy again." She met my eyes then and my heart skipped a beat. There was something about them, but I wasn't sure what. Guilt perhaps?

"I don't understand what you mean..."

"I know you've been really responsible this year, and I know you rarely cause trouble anymore but," She walks towards me, breathing out, "James," I felt her hand across my cheek. "You don't have to apologize when you're being yourself. I know it's stupid, the things you guys do sometimes, but it's a part of you. I hate it when you say you're sorry over it." Lily sighed. "It's like a Seeker apologizing after catching the snitch. Do you get what I'm trying to say...?"

Did I...? It was a good question. "So what you're saying is, you're not mad at me for the prank, but you're mad at me because I'm saying sorry - correct?" She nodded. I cleared my throat. "Lily Evans, do you have any idea what you're implying?" I could feel myself smiling at the pout that crossed her face. "You're asking me to have fun, love, in my old ways. You know I can get carried away."

"Oy," She jabbed a finger at my chest before my arms circled her waist. "I'll be watching over you, don't expect to get away with everything." I chuckled, bending down as I traced one side of her jaw with kisses. She smelled of vanilla. "James, listen to me!"

I laughed. "I'm all ears, honey." I whispered to her ear, nuzzling her neck as I inhaled her scent; very intoxicating.

I heard Lily sigh in defeat. "You and the damn things you do."

"Mm," I grin in agreement, brushing her lips with mine. "I have my reason."

She snorts. "To show the world how troublesome you are?"

"Hm, besides that," I paused to catch her gaze. "It's mostly just you."

Lily shook her head as her nose wrinkled in disbelief. "Witty fool."

I claimed her lips then, chuckling as I caught her by surprise. It felt so good, so refreshing. I shuddered at her touch as her hand slid up my chest, slowly to my neck, and finally inside my shirt. I felt my muscle tensed as it lingered there. Lily smiled under our kiss; she knew exactly what she was doing.

Instinctively, I pulled her closer as my hand swiftly moved to her stomach, unbuttoning the last three buttons to give way to her skin. She stiffened for an instant before deepening the kiss, my hand traveling across the flesh under my palm, drawing a moan out her lips.

"Don't tempt me, love." I managed to say as we parted.

A mischievous look crossed her features; she was definitely satisfied by my remark. Merlin, Sirius was right, I was whipped. Badly. "Enticing?"

I frowned as I cornered her to a wall. "Bloody, teasing, witch."

She laughed. "Language, honey."

But as she opened her lips to say more, my mouth hungrily took hers in, losing all reason I had that moment. For you see, Lily Evans may be the reason behind the things I do (and the wrongs I try to make right), but she can also be the reason I sometimes lose control. Take right now for instance.

Yeah, she was my drive, one way or the other.

My reason.

My Lily.

**Author's Note:**

Liked it? I hope it wasn't too much.

I didn't mean to finish this one-shot in one sitting at all. But somehow I just couldn't leave it halfway so I decided to finish it. Written merely for fun and fluff; I love fluff. And James. And Lily. And yeah... lol. Inspired but not entirely based on the song _The Reason_ by Hoobastank :D it's a good song. I do apologize if the quality didn't meet your standards, but I had fun so I'm happy (and sleepy)!

Did it make you happy too?


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